Monday, October 29, 2007

Horriblly Beautiful Yet Again, Part 1

As I said in my last post, I am not much of a blogger. This could be due to many different reasons. Don't feel my strong point is writing, time, topics. Regardless, I have a blog. And since then I have put some special topics up and some things that were silly. And, some that were just plain self-promotion.

I am not really sure what is Blog-appropriate and what isn't. I mean, I have an idea. I don't know if what I am about to write would be considered appropriate for the blogsphere. But, here goes.

I am hoping to write at least a 4 part series on this. My thoughts, my experiences and events of this past week. Warning up front - some of this is going to be pretty graphic. So, there you go.

But, for the most part, I want to write about my dad. Who he was, who he was for me and what he meant to a great deal of people. I also want to write about losing a parent. There are grief books and there are stories that deal with this all the time, I know. But, here is my story and a portion of my dad's. I want to get this all down while it is still fresh. I'm going to start at the end and work my way back.

Scott and I used to always have a phrase we would say when talking about our parents - mostly our dads - "My dad is never going to die. Do you hear me God." This was always done in jest and for amusement. Friday, Oct. 19, 2007, I screamed that at the heavens. Unfortunately, it didn't take.

My dad was probably one of the most healthiest humans I knew. Never smoked, ran almost every day, or when he couldn't he walked for miles. Seldom drank except socially or that one glass of wine before dinner. Almost never sick. Never had an operation. He was in top physical shape. The last time he went to the dentist, the dentist said that his teeth were in the condition of a 30 year old or so. He was 65.

This past June he had to get off a plane that was going to Europe because he did not feel well. Not like my dad at all. His blood pressure was something like 210 over 80. Numbers, that for the most part would kill. But, not my dad. He was a tough ole bird. He got through that only to be faced with another challenge.

He found out that he had prostate cancer. There were a lot of different tests and many different opinions, second and third opinions. All pointed in the direction of removing the prostate. Once that was determined, I got the call from my mom.

He went to Houston, TX and on October 5, went into surgery. They (my mom and dad) both assured me that everything was very routine. They were in the best place in the world for this (and they were). Everything went as planned. He only had one minor complication, but the surgery was a success. The cancer was huge, and I was told VERY huge. But, it was fully removed.

We talked on the phone. I kept asking if I needed to come down. They kept saying no. And, things were looking good. He got that catheter out early. They were just staying at the hospital hotel until all looked good.

Then, Friday, October 19, after the show, we were doing photos and I had just dropped off the laundry, I got the call from my mom. Emergency, I may need to fly out to Houston that night. Dad had an attack.

Everything from then on was a back and forth of what was going on. Dad had a heart attack and the left descending ventricle was 90% blocked. They had operated, they had put a balloon and stints into his heart to get it back up to speed. And, everything looked really good. He was going from critical to stable condition. I booked my flight for Sunday morning.

Around 3pm, NY time, my mom calls again. I will find out later that my dad's blood pressure dropped down to 50/40 or something like that. They put him on medication to get his blood pressure back up, but something was very wrong. They found out that he had had a massive brain hemorrhage. They talked to 2 different neurologists and there was no way they could operate. The blood thinner that was keeping his heart going was the reason for the blood hemorrhage (that and a possible aneurysm/blood clot) and if they took him off the blood thinner, his heart would stop. Probably the biggest Catch 22 one could have.

He was unresponsive. He was not waking up. It would take a miracle - I mean an honest to God old testament miracle for him to wake. And, that was what we were all praying for.

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