Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Thankful Thanksgiving

So, for awhile there, my husband was not sure if the tour was going to Las Vegas, which was over the weekend of our Anniversary. It would have been the first anniversary that we would have been apart from each other (This is our sixth year of marriage). But, wishing and praying, the tour stayed it's course and we were able to meet up. We got to spend time together and got to meet our new niece, Caitlan Rose. We also got to see each other again at his parent's house for Thanksgiving, where he got to stay with me and his family for two nights. Four wonderful nights in total. So, instead of a whole bunch of writing, I thought I would just post some pics of the week.

Anniversary night consisted of going to the top of the Strastosphere then enjoying a show and a night out drinking with Katie and Ashley in the New York, NY Casino. Check out Katie's blog. I am sure she will have pics up of that weekend soon.

Our first time holding the new cuddle of joy.

Yes, everyone is looking at Caitlin.

He now has only four more weeks. And, hopefully, one weekend, he will get to come back to NY to stay for a couple of nights, in his own bed. Aw, bliss.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I Just Needed to Say This

Things have been going much better with the tour. Their load ins are almost painless, the shows are going so well and everything seems to be going just fine. All of this has recently been happening. Basically, since their stage manager left and they got a replacement.

Being a stage manager - I know, because I am one - is probably the most stressful, thankless job anyone could ever have - well, OK, that is not fair, I am sure there are others, but in the theatre world, this is it. You have to be protector, mother, iron worker and comedian. At least, these are the first few metaphor's that come to my head. You also have to be a negotiator and a mediator. And, most of the time, you will not know if you did a good job or not, until the production is over and someone says - you are the best stage manager ever, you rocked my world, you did an awesome job, etc. OK, I know I said this is a "thankless" job and by the end of the run of a show, when you are just getting the thank you's - you wonder where these people were two weeks ago when you were up to all hours of the night doing God knows what for the show. You try with all your might and muster up "thank you's" for others and "we really appreciate all your hard work" for some more, but yet you just keep going without a hint of thanks. And, I could be wrong on this last note. I could be so in the moment and running around so much, that I never hear it. So, for those of you that are reading this and have continued to thank me through a whole production - I apologize. I was just too involved to know you appreciated me.

OK, so on to my real comment. The one that has been boiling in me for weeks. The fact that I met someone, with all the good qualities of a Stage Manager. The want and care of the whole company. Someone I thought could balance the needs of the production with the needs and safety of the actors. Heck, he is going on a National Tour, he got chosen, he must be something special.

I met him. We discussed Stage Managing and I told him if he ever needed to vent about something, to feel free to contact me. If he needed any help, even though I just met him, I would be there. Well, he never did call and this boy seriously needed some help.

He basically, in a short note, but believe me, I should write a manifesto about this man after what he did to this group, catered to the production office even though it was not in the best interest of the production, crew or cast, let them work on a set that was falling apart and dangerous, let his emotions come out more than you should around a team of actors and tried to divide the cast. He also sold them up the river and let the production company know that they were the worst cast to work with compared to the other casts. AND, told other casts on the other subsequent tours, that they were awful to work with.

Now, not that I was there. But, when a whole host of people comment on this and one happens to be your husband, you begin to wonder. The story was always the same when anyone mentioned him and his doings. I couldn't believe my husband, and these great people, were under the care of this person.

Well, he left the tour. I am not sure if he was asked or if he quit. There is still speculation on that front. They now have a wonderful stage manager and lo and behold, the tour is running much smoother and the performances and load-ins, although not always the smoothiest due to external forces, are better than ever.

Aw, vent over. Now, I can finally get on to writing about something else. And, by the way, there are a lot of other duties of a stage manager - this was just a top o' head vent.

"Breathing Fire" Williams

Monday, November 06, 2006

Harder Than You Think

One of my ideas with this blog was to give people who were significant others or just the people themselves going out on tour, some information, hopefully helpful about the before during and after. So, here we go.

Having a loved one away on a tour is very hard. You may have a strong relationship, you may think you are 100% prepared for it, but, I believe, it is much harder than you think.

I thought, when my husband and I were talking about his tour and me being away in Ireland 3 weeks prior, that everything would be fine. We would get through it. 4 months is not that long.

We got to see each other twice - after I got back from Ireland - a weekend in Boston. That was 4 weeks without seeing each other, but we had done a month and a 1/2 before when Scot was recording in Tuscon, Az. This was in the infancy of our relationship and everything had gone just fine.

The second time was a total of about 48 hours in NYC. Scot came down from Boston. That was after about a total of 4 more weeks since we last had seen each other in Boston.

Now, it has officially been 2 months since we have seen each other (we of course have been talking on the phone everyday). And, we will be seeing each other in 2 weeks. I am so excited that I believe my head will actually explode, not kidding. I'll try and get video.

There are two pieces of advise I can give people who are staying behind while the other is on tour.
1. Always know that it is going to be much harder than you can ever imagine. Think about how hard it will be and multiply that by a million. Everything goes into a holding pattern. You are neither moving forward or backwards. You are stuck in limbo. You come home to the empty apartment/house with the pictures and the smells of the one you love who is oh, so far away. You want to cuddle up with an old t-shrit of theirs and just stay that way until they come home. You want to try and meet them wherever they are on weekends. The weeks fly at first, then they slow down to almost a complete halt. It is painful.
2. When you do get a chance to see them, as much as you want to, don't talk about business. The bill payments, the apartment problems, the information you need from them so that you can finish up the application for this or that. With email, you can shoot them a quick email and ask for these things. You don't need to do it while you are with them. Use this time to get to know each other again, play, chat, see a movie, etc. Love is first, business will take care of itself.

I can not say that this time apart has not been fruitful - it has. I have learned a lot about myself these past few weeks. One thing I have learned is that I am a much stronger and resourceful person than I thought. I think when someone is so wonderful to you and just wants to make you happy, like my husband does, you grow to depend on that and at times, take it for granted. When the carpet is pulled out from under you, you are thrown into the deep end, the tail has gotten longer and the rocking chairs are getting closer - you find that you have two choices - stay on your ass and pray that it all goes away or get off your ass and do something about it. I am off my ass and running. Hopefully, running the right way.

So, the countdown has begun. The clock ticks ever so slowly.