It could be exhaustion. It could be that spring is officially started, but not here yet. Whatever it is, I am exhausted and tired and want to sleep all the time.
I went to sleep last night at 10:30pm - very early for me - and slept through my alarm and woke up late at 7:30am. At work, I stare at my computer screen for moments on end feeling my eyelids shutting with no motivation to continue work. Then, CRASH, my eyes shut. The next thing I realize is the jerking of myself back to the conscience land. And, noticing that the clock is 5 minutes ahead from where it was when I crashed. During the whole run of Soul Samurai, this did not happen. Yeah, I was T-I-R-E-D, but I maintained.
I also think it might have to do with the beginning of Spring. And, the fact that Ms. Spring has been hitting the snooze alarm herself. It's in the 30's and it snowed this morning. But, it is sunny, so maybe Spring is a little tired too and wanting another few more minutes of sleep.
Of course, the world keeps turning and going and none of us are getting any younger.
Except for the few nightly things I did this week, I really just sat around and did nothing. Watched a lot of TV, got some naps in and re-made my indent on the couch. Oh that lovely couch, how I have missed you. However, in the back of my brain was the alarm going off of all the things I should be doing: cleaning my room (I did tidy for about an hour the other day), cleaning the house, organizing all my files that I haven't organized for 2 years, purchase or make a book shelf for all my stuff that is still in boxes-like books that I want to read, fix my Itunes, make an appointment for the Genius bar to look at my MAC and my Iphone - they aren't communicating that well, clean up my email boxes, go through my mail, working out more, doing yoga more, picking back up my guitar, go to a drum circle with my djembe, look into getting new headshots, working on a plethora of things for Nosedive.
Wow, that's a big list I just made. I am sure there is more, but wow.
I am, well, just...so...sleepy. And, again, my 2 year old tantrum child is wanting to stomp her feet and say - I don't wanna do anything. I also have a lot of events planned next week in the evening. It just doesn't seem to stop. Once I am done with one opportunity, even more pop up.
I do remind myself from time to time, that this is a good problem to have.
I could just have my TV, my couch and nothing else. Sometimes I wonder if I would be happy with just that. Coming home, relaxing, going to bed. And, of course, it sounds really, really nice, but I also know eventually I would get bored. I find myself, while watching movies, getting up and puddering around the house, working on a project, etc. Making food - which will defeat my goal of getting back into shape if I am not careful. I am a pretty good cook after all.
And, as much as I would like to be retired at times, I'm not. And, Spring, neither are you.
So, I'm going to hit the snooze for a couple of more days with our good friend Spring. Don't worry. We'll wake up soon.