I am a year older and hopefully I have been able to take last year's lessons and information to be able to say the proverbial - one year older and wiser.
I have been feeling like I have been a drift a vast ocean for so long. Or, like I've told some of my friends, being re-created from the burnt ashes of experience. My own Icarus Phoenix if you will(I should write about that sometime). But only now am I being able to stand fully upright and brushing off the soot.
I am one year older.
And, when being born, one is stripped from their mother's womb, the one warm, comforting place you knew for so many months and slapped on the back and then, at least in my day, placed on a cold metal scale. This is your welcome to the world - your birth. Of course, this would leave anyone a little cranky.
I was really cranky last week.
However, this morning I woke up, from underneath my warm blankets, feeling somewhat satisfied. Like everything would be OK. That everything was OK.
Was this from talking to my mom last night? Was this from starting auditions for Colorful World? Was this from having a populus of people saying Happy Birthday to me for three days straight (which by the way - thank you!)? Was it the Tarot card reading I got and the results of that? I don't know. And, it could be, that nothing above actually changed my perception. I just was...that, of feeling alright, for the first time in I don't know how long.
That's not to say that over this past year there weren't mornings I woke up giddy over this or that. Or found myself happily walking down the street. Or loving ever minute of being with my friends. I have found myself happy and feeling alright multiple times over this year.
This morning I woke up feeling satisfied. Like I can do anything.
The world is in front of me. I am a year older and hopefully wiser. I have learned from all of my teachers, the world, around me. I believe I am ready to re-start out on my path. This is both scary and exciting. Part of me wants to crawl back under the covers and just relish that feeling of satisfaction. But, I know the feeling will pass. So, I just have to keep on going, like I have been, and see what this new year will bring.
This feeling of satsifaction? I hope it lasts.
Never Stop Rocking....