When this downed economy hit, I was in a bit of a pickle. I had gotten to the place where I couldn't pay all my bills and actually live. For those of you who know me, besides plays, movies and the random night out, I was pretty much a hermit when I was not doing a show. Only to venture out to get a little sunlight- however, I was worried that they would start charging for that too. I got a little more cash for the holidays, got some gifts for a few, but that was my extent of really buying outside of what I could afford. And, the credit card thing - yikes! All my interest rates went up, minimums went up and I started to listen to those commercials about being in debt trouble like they were preaching the gospel. What's that phone number again? Gosh, I wonder how much they charge for this service after I get through all the free stuff?
I needed a second job. I knew raises at my job may not be a possibility. Or I needed to claim bankruptcy. (I do sound like one of those commercials don't I?)
At the beginning of January, I decided it was time to take my backstage talent and put it to work - literally - it needed to make me some extra money. I decided that I would start doing this kind of work on and off during the year. Take a show for a few weeks, get paid, take a break, repeat. And, if it looked like I could do this two job craziness, then I would look for a more permanent theater job and just go for it.
I got a call from the lovely Mrs. Abby of Vampire Cowboys about working on "Soul Samurai". Well, perfect! Not only do I not have to go hunting for a job, one lands in my lap.
In a later blog I'll go into more details of my new found skills in Wardrobe and Hair, but not today my dear readers.
I take the job. I know Vampire Cowboys, I've met quite a bit of Ma-Yi and I know the cast pretty much. It's a no brainer. You take that job with that many pluses.
When I started to put all the show dates into my calendar, I began to realize, I have two days off, technically, two nights off. Once the show started, I realized those two days would equal to one night of laundry and one night for any major fixing on costumes. So, seven days a week for 4 weeks. Still, I told myself I could do this.
Now, it is the last day where I come to the day job, go to the night job, then go do laundry. My assessment.
Yes, I made it. I didn't die. I didn't mess up too much at either job. I made it thus far. Is this something I can continue to do? Yes, only if I never wanted to see anyone I know outside of the particular show I am working on and if I wanted to possibly go crazy.
I sleep through my alarm now. I mean, really sleep through my alarm. I never did that. When I was going to AMDA, having to get up at 6am, go to 8 hours of classes involving a lot of physical endurance, then to the night job, then home by 1am to repeat again - I did not sleep through my alarm. Now, I wake up at my first alarm at 6:50, then open my eyes again to see it 7:50.
If I went out and stayed out late once during the week, I was exhausted for days. This was unfortunate for things like, our benefit, the opening night party, seeing Watchmen at midnight, our Burlesque benefit. You get the picture.
I really don't know what day it is or what I am doing 1/2 of the time. It takes a lot of concentration during the day to do things. I have to write things down even more and remember to write things down. This also reminds me that I am smoking more. Smoking seems to be the only time that I take to focus and go over everything. I don't think I could sit down and mediate right now. I'd be too restless.
Exercise has been a luxury. No yoga in the morning. I've gotten to the gym a couple of times a week-three times in the week if I am lucky. I run up and downstairs all night, so that is exercise, but my knees are paying for it. I do sit ups backstage during one of the longer scenes.
I am completely out of touch with everything going on in our world. I got to hear quite a bit about the octuplets, the market go up, the market go down, (repeat), the stimulus package and stem cell research. If anything else has happened, please let me know.
Good things - I have lost weight. That was a goal I have been working on. About 7 pounds and counting. I have learned new skills or enhanced ones I already have. Got to work and laugh and have fun with a great cast and crew. Be a part of an amazing, successful show.
Will I be doing this again anytime soon? To this extent? No.
I believe I am "getting to old for this shit." I am looking forward to going back to rehearsing and then tech week and then 3 to 4 performances a week. Will I still be in crazy land during those productions, doing a hundred things at once and/or running around like a crazy lady trying to get ready? Probably. But, I know I can handle a few performances a week. This was really a challenge.
I have no regrets. Only lessons learned.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
A Celebration of Memories
Today would be my father's 67th birthday. I searched last night for some more pictures of my dad on my computer and realized that a lot of them are actually still on Scott's computer and in hard, developed picture format. Being almost midnight and needing to go to sleep, I found a picture (and a couple of movie clips) that brought back a great memory.
This is my dad's hand. That, of course, is a baby turtle. This was one of the last times my dad and I had some real one on one face time together and it developed into a beautiful memory for me.
I guess this was May or August, I was visiting my parents in Carlsbad, NM and my dad and I were on the back porch one morning, drinking coffee, my dad sitting down, me standing, looking out into the back yard, rambling on about something, when a baby turtle came meandering onto the porch. My dad, being the biologist and lover of nature he was, sat up and slowly leaned over in his seat to get a better look at the little guy. I, living in a land of concrete and missing nature, slowly backed away, then ran into the house to get the camera. I came back outside and there was my dad, looking over the little fellow, like a protector or probably to the turtle, a large tree branch. I took some pictures and then turned on the video camera. I filmed the little guy walking along the porch. You can here the birds cooing in the background, you can almost feel the air. I made 2 short videos. My father, of course, said nothing, but just sat there listening to me babble for the camera like I was on some nature show (but due to the adorableness of it all, my voice was up an octave). After the turtle began to take off back into the grass of our backyard, my dad got up from his chair and calmly walked over, bent down, and picked him up. I could tell my dad didn't want this moment to be over and wanted the baby turtle to stick around a bit longer. He then, in his dad way, explained to me the markings on the turtle, and how there were still some soft places cause he was so young - which is something my dad had done before with other turtles. Then, said, "Here, now take a picture, you can really see him much better." And the result is the above picture.
This memory also reminded me of the time I learned from my dad that some lizards' tails come off for protection from predators. When, I was about 4 or 5, my dad and I collected the lizards that ran around our apartment complex. My dad always told me not to grab them by the tail. So, one day I asked - why daddy? My dad took me outside to the tank where we kept the lizards, picked one up, then grabbed it by it's tail only. The tail detached and the lizard ran away free. I, of course, screamed, like...well... a little girl. My dad showed me the still wriggling tail in his fingers and told that it was just the tail and the lizard was fine. I, being the sick little monkey back then that I am now, thought that was pretty cool and then he began to chase me, both of us laughing, around the house with this detached lizard tail and also got my mom involved, by chasing her around with the tail. Of which she would laugh and yell - "Ron, now, quit it. Throw that thing away." Once the tail stopped moving of it's own fruition, my dad took it outside and tossed it. A few days later, I was with my dad and a lizard came crawling up. It had a little stub of a a tail. My dad showed me and said - "See, this lizard lost his tail and it's growing back. He's just fine."
And, my dad, yet again, is right.
Happy Birthday Dad.
This is my dad's hand. That, of course, is a baby turtle. This was one of the last times my dad and I had some real one on one face time together and it developed into a beautiful memory for me.
I guess this was May or August, I was visiting my parents in Carlsbad, NM and my dad and I were on the back porch one morning, drinking coffee, my dad sitting down, me standing, looking out into the back yard, rambling on about something, when a baby turtle came meandering onto the porch. My dad, being the biologist and lover of nature he was, sat up and slowly leaned over in his seat to get a better look at the little guy. I, living in a land of concrete and missing nature, slowly backed away, then ran into the house to get the camera. I came back outside and there was my dad, looking over the little fellow, like a protector or probably to the turtle, a large tree branch. I took some pictures and then turned on the video camera. I filmed the little guy walking along the porch. You can here the birds cooing in the background, you can almost feel the air. I made 2 short videos. My father, of course, said nothing, but just sat there listening to me babble for the camera like I was on some nature show (but due to the adorableness of it all, my voice was up an octave). After the turtle began to take off back into the grass of our backyard, my dad got up from his chair and calmly walked over, bent down, and picked him up. I could tell my dad didn't want this moment to be over and wanted the baby turtle to stick around a bit longer. He then, in his dad way, explained to me the markings on the turtle, and how there were still some soft places cause he was so young - which is something my dad had done before with other turtles. Then, said, "Here, now take a picture, you can really see him much better." And the result is the above picture.
This memory also reminded me of the time I learned from my dad that some lizards' tails come off for protection from predators. When, I was about 4 or 5, my dad and I collected the lizards that ran around our apartment complex. My dad always told me not to grab them by the tail. So, one day I asked - why daddy? My dad took me outside to the tank where we kept the lizards, picked one up, then grabbed it by it's tail only. The tail detached and the lizard ran away free. I, of course, screamed, like...well... a little girl. My dad showed me the still wriggling tail in his fingers and told that it was just the tail and the lizard was fine. I, being the sick little monkey back then that I am now, thought that was pretty cool and then he began to chase me, both of us laughing, around the house with this detached lizard tail and also got my mom involved, by chasing her around with the tail. Of which she would laugh and yell - "Ron, now, quit it. Throw that thing away." Once the tail stopped moving of it's own fruition, my dad took it outside and tossed it. A few days later, I was with my dad and a lizard came crawling up. It had a little stub of a a tail. My dad showed me and said - "See, this lizard lost his tail and it's growing back. He's just fine."
And, my dad, yet again, is right.
Happy Birthday Dad.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Random not so deep Thoughts
Yes, this show has taken over my life. Wednesday through Sunday with two nights of washing and patching = 7 days a week folks. So, my blogging has definitely slowed down considerably, as has my blog reading (sorry guys). Heck, this drivel below took me all day to write in the few spare moments I had. Enjoy my silliness!
Random Thought One:
One of the most painful sounds in the world is a baby screaming/crying on a train when you know that cry is for pain. Not because they are grumpy, not because they aren't getting their way, not because they are stuck in their stroller, but because they are in physical pain. I was reminded of my ear aches I used to get as a child. Screaming for hours. The second saddest sight, is that of two parents on a train with the screaming, in pain baby trying so hard to be calm and get the baby to be calm when there is just unadulterated fear in their eyes. There is a first saddest sight, but that's not in this posting.
Random Thought Two:
This one actually goes with a dialog set up.
A boy, about 7, a girl, about 4 and their father(?), were walking down the street yesterday. The boy picked up a large ice chunk and began to shave down the sides some and making it into a shape.
He then starting asking the other two - "Who wants to see Pikachu smashed?"
The girl responded, "I want pizza."
Boy: Who wants to see Pikachu smashed?
Girl: I want pizza.
Boy: WHO wants to SEE Pi..KA..chu SMASHED?
Girl: I want pizza.
(This repeated a few more times.)
Then the boy asked the girl - "Do YOU want to see Pikachu get smaaa-shed?"
The girl responded, "I want pizza."
Boy: Pikachu!
Girl: Pizza!
Boy: Pikachu!
Girl: PI-IZZ-AAAAA!
Again, this went back and forth until you heard the ice shatter and the girl let out a yell and the boy laugh and say, "I smashed Pikachu!"
Girl: Are we going to have pizza now?
Many thoughts ran through my mind.
One - Pizza and Pikachu do kind of sound the same.
Two - How many conversations with adults do I have that are examples of the above exchange?
Three - I didn't know that a seven year old would know about Pikachu. Who knew?
Random Thought Three:
Do I really want to keep my Iphone? The answer of course from my now devil owned soul cries YES! But, how much of this is a hassle? I find myself forgetting what I was just in the middle of doing because I had a sudden thought of my Iphone and is it safe, do I have it on me, where is it, etc. Did I just buy the equivalent of a baby? I am constantly wondering if the phone is OK and forgetting my tasks at hand. It's a thought.
Random Thought One:
One of the most painful sounds in the world is a baby screaming/crying on a train when you know that cry is for pain. Not because they are grumpy, not because they aren't getting their way, not because they are stuck in their stroller, but because they are in physical pain. I was reminded of my ear aches I used to get as a child. Screaming for hours. The second saddest sight, is that of two parents on a train with the screaming, in pain baby trying so hard to be calm and get the baby to be calm when there is just unadulterated fear in their eyes. There is a first saddest sight, but that's not in this posting.
Random Thought Two:
This one actually goes with a dialog set up.
A boy, about 7, a girl, about 4 and their father(?), were walking down the street yesterday. The boy picked up a large ice chunk and began to shave down the sides some and making it into a shape.
He then starting asking the other two - "Who wants to see Pikachu smashed?"
The girl responded, "I want pizza."
Boy: Who wants to see Pikachu smashed?
Girl: I want pizza.
Boy: WHO wants to SEE Pi..KA..chu SMASHED?
Girl: I want pizza.
(This repeated a few more times.)
Then the boy asked the girl - "Do YOU want to see Pikachu get smaaa-shed?"
The girl responded, "I want pizza."
Boy: Pikachu!
Girl: Pizza!
Boy: Pikachu!
Girl: PI-IZZ-AAAAA!
Again, this went back and forth until you heard the ice shatter and the girl let out a yell and the boy laugh and say, "I smashed Pikachu!"
Girl: Are we going to have pizza now?
Many thoughts ran through my mind.
One - Pizza and Pikachu do kind of sound the same.
Two - How many conversations with adults do I have that are examples of the above exchange?
Three - I didn't know that a seven year old would know about Pikachu. Who knew?
Random Thought Three:
Do I really want to keep my Iphone? The answer of course from my now devil owned soul cries YES! But, how much of this is a hassle? I find myself forgetting what I was just in the middle of doing because I had a sudden thought of my Iphone and is it safe, do I have it on me, where is it, etc. Did I just buy the equivalent of a baby? I am constantly wondering if the phone is OK and forgetting my tasks at hand. It's a thought.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Random Thoughts, Plugs, Etc.
So tonight is another wonderful night of Soul Samurai! Tonight is a little more special for me because the Nosedive crew will be in full effect. We are having a small get together afterwards as our benefit "season" starts off. So, if you happen to be coming tonight and did not get a chance to buy the awesome Nosedive ticket - you can still stick around for the afterparty with your favorite little monkeys and some of the cast and crew of the show...for a marginal cost. (You can get your Soul Samurai tickets here.)
Also speaking of Nosedive and benefit season, we have a very tasty treat - especially for the boys in the house (holler!), Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque on March 11th at Under St. Mark's, around 10pmish. Hosted by one of the greatest and disturbing minds I know, Bastard Keith. Should be two hoots (did you get the joke?) and a whole lot of holler!
So, random thoughts......hmmmmmm.
I'm on my loose 10lbs kick right now. I have lost 5 so far. I find that I work a lot more efficiently on smaller meals and that has been my only choice seeing I go from the "joe job" to the theatre to home to bed (or sewing/laundry) every night pretty much. But, with the show, more frequent eating, but smaller meals, I'm finally getting rid of that extra 10lbs I put on last year. Ahhhhh. Oh, I could really use a burger though...mmmmm.
When I do get downtime, I tend to do a lot of thinking. It's like my brain wakes up while my body stays still. Been doing a lot of that.
I was having a wonderful meal (great Mexican food) by myself when I overheard 2 people talking the about theatre, and this big shot and that, and this audition and this show and how this person is awful to work with, etc. And, then thought to myself, 'gosh, do we sound that insipid when we talk shop?'
I've had 2 minor family/friend health issues: both are doing fine now. I was so releaved to hear of such life threatening things happening and both making it out of the woods. I definitely needed that. However, a woman I met a couple of years ago lost her battle with cancer. I think this is that section of my life where people I knew, etc. getting sick, dying, out of the woods, terminally ill. Then I thought - and this is kind of shocking seeing as I always comment on how old I am - this can't be, I'm too young.
I have been telling myself the day job, the "9 to 5" is just a day job. I can do this. It's just a job. I've put in my calendar "Put in 2 weeks", for January 2011, if I am still at this job. I know, it's far off, but at least it is light at the end of the tunnel. I can do this for 2 more years if I have to.
Alright kittens....back to your life.
Also speaking of Nosedive and benefit season, we have a very tasty treat - especially for the boys in the house (holler!), Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque on March 11th at Under St. Mark's, around 10pmish. Hosted by one of the greatest and disturbing minds I know, Bastard Keith. Should be two hoots (did you get the joke?) and a whole lot of holler!
So, random thoughts......hmmmmmm.
I'm on my loose 10lbs kick right now. I have lost 5 so far. I find that I work a lot more efficiently on smaller meals and that has been my only choice seeing I go from the "joe job" to the theatre to home to bed (or sewing/laundry) every night pretty much. But, with the show, more frequent eating, but smaller meals, I'm finally getting rid of that extra 10lbs I put on last year. Ahhhhh. Oh, I could really use a burger though...mmmmm.
When I do get downtime, I tend to do a lot of thinking. It's like my brain wakes up while my body stays still. Been doing a lot of that.
I was having a wonderful meal (great Mexican food) by myself when I overheard 2 people talking the about theatre, and this big shot and that, and this audition and this show and how this person is awful to work with, etc. And, then thought to myself, 'gosh, do we sound that insipid when we talk shop?'
I've had 2 minor family/friend health issues: both are doing fine now. I was so releaved to hear of such life threatening things happening and both making it out of the woods. I definitely needed that. However, a woman I met a couple of years ago lost her battle with cancer. I think this is that section of my life where people I knew, etc. getting sick, dying, out of the woods, terminally ill. Then I thought - and this is kind of shocking seeing as I always comment on how old I am - this can't be, I'm too young.
I have been telling myself the day job, the "9 to 5" is just a day job. I can do this. It's just a job. I've put in my calendar "Put in 2 weeks", for January 2011, if I am still at this job. I know, it's far off, but at least it is light at the end of the tunnel. I can do this for 2 more years if I have to.
Alright kittens....back to your life.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Until that Coban....
The Wrestler, directed by, Darren Aronofsky, written by Robert D. Siegel and brilliant acting by Mickey Rourke. I have to say - as of right now, this could be my favorite movie of all time. Let me explain.
I just got out of the movie and I am having that swirly-whirly of ideas and relations and I was pretty much closed lipped after it was over. I couldn't even explain my thoughts on this. Except brilliance.
Let's take a journey shall we.
I'm an 80's girl. I'm an 80's rocker girl. I grew up in a small town, so a lot of my nights were spent on the "drag" with my friends in our cars listening to Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Metallica, Guns N Roses. You get the picture. I didn't drink until I was in college so metal went well with my sugar rushes from the 48oz Tallsup - equivalent to a Big Gulp if you will.
Also, being a small town girl, with not a lot going on and my parents owning 2 TV's, I watched a LOT of TV. But, one of my favorite things was coming home after going to church at FUMC and watching wrestling for hours. This changed to skateboarding when I got older, but I digress.
I loved wrestling.
Now, my folks didn't like wrestling, so I regret to inform you I don't have any of the cool posters or action figures from that time period. Nor, did I ever get to a live wrestling match. But, when my school did have a girls wrestling program, I wanted to join. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware of girls and wrestling and that most of the time jello or mud was involved in the sport done by females. And, I was only one of 2 people that came to the tryouts. I talked a friend of mine into coming along. However, at this point, I didn't know that wrestling as a sport and wrestling that I saw on the TV were 2 different things.
Hold on there - WWE (or WWF in my day) is a sport. Yes, it is, I mean only to distinguish the only way I know how.
I watched the matches, I watched the cartoon show (with Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper was the bad guy - remember that?). But, the day it ended for me was the day that Andre the Giant went over to the dark side or in the biz "turned heel" and joined forces with Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and challenged Hulk Hogan. Andre was the gentle giant and I knew it was for ratings and for a bout with Andre and Hogan. I felt like the whole thing sold out. Of course I saw the bout, but it all broke my heart.
I haven't really followed wrestling since. I hear bits and pieces of what is going on and am embarrassed when I do hang out with fans, cause most of the time I can only come up with the old names from the old days.
Last week, on a whim, I watched Requiem for a Dream. What a horrifying movie about addiction. And, how brilliantly pulled off by Darren Aronofsky. He is gifted at having you feel the character. He has a way of mixing reality and the dream world or the fantasy to where you aren't really sure which is which anymore.
Now, the movie. (Spoiler Alert! Stop Reading.)
Just hearing that opening song, seeing the posters, knowing that we are 20 years from that time, but that time is being played out to the last note. It's a struggle to holding on to the only thing you know. Then watching a struggle to not go back to the only thing you know and try to move forward with your life, your next chapter - what you should be doing. Marisa Tomei telling Mickey Rourke, well you had a heart attack, you should contact your daughter, that's what you are supposed to do when these things happen. Mickey Rourke going through his pictures of wrestlers, places he has been, to find a grade school picture of his daughter with multiple phone numbers written on the back and crossed out as a new one was added on.
The Wrestler. That's what he was and when he was able to be that person, he was at his most content. After the first bout in the beginning of the movie when he goes home to find his trailer all locked up cause he's missed rent again. After being tossed around like that, all I could think of was a shower or a bath, some Tiger Balm and some hot tea. He can't have that. What does he do? Goes to his van, where he has a pillow and blanket, takes some pain pills and has a beer while looking at his pictures as a younger wrestler on the side of the van. To me, it just spoke passion.
Also, Darren once again is able to get this overall feel of the audience peaking in on this person's life. It definitely had a feel of a biography, without the narration. You were walking along this person's life. The back story was not given to you on a silver platter either. You knew by observing what this man has gone through and who he is. One of my favorite places was where the walk through the supermarket's back sections mirrored the walk to the wrestling ring. And, how sad and awful it was - his new reality.
The Wrestler - Randy 'the Ram' Robinson, Mickey Rourke, is someone I would like to know. Charasmatic, fun, charming, sweet, a big teddy bear, but also someone that would make my skin crawl and I wouldn't be able to place why. Mickey Rourke plays this character beautifully, wonderfully, like on the ropes of the ring itself. It is so good to have him really come back and with such an amazing performance.
I feel like I want to talk more about this, but I'm getting tired and I really just needed to say what a beautiful movie this is. Ahhh, bliss.
I just got out of the movie and I am having that swirly-whirly of ideas and relations and I was pretty much closed lipped after it was over. I couldn't even explain my thoughts on this. Except brilliance.
Let's take a journey shall we.
I'm an 80's girl. I'm an 80's rocker girl. I grew up in a small town, so a lot of my nights were spent on the "drag" with my friends in our cars listening to Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Metallica, Guns N Roses. You get the picture. I didn't drink until I was in college so metal went well with my sugar rushes from the 48oz Tallsup - equivalent to a Big Gulp if you will.
Also, being a small town girl, with not a lot going on and my parents owning 2 TV's, I watched a LOT of TV. But, one of my favorite things was coming home after going to church at FUMC and watching wrestling for hours. This changed to skateboarding when I got older, but I digress.
I loved wrestling.
Now, my folks didn't like wrestling, so I regret to inform you I don't have any of the cool posters or action figures from that time period. Nor, did I ever get to a live wrestling match. But, when my school did have a girls wrestling program, I wanted to join. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware of girls and wrestling and that most of the time jello or mud was involved in the sport done by females. And, I was only one of 2 people that came to the tryouts. I talked a friend of mine into coming along. However, at this point, I didn't know that wrestling as a sport and wrestling that I saw on the TV were 2 different things.
Hold on there - WWE (or WWF in my day) is a sport. Yes, it is, I mean only to distinguish the only way I know how.
I watched the matches, I watched the cartoon show (with Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper was the bad guy - remember that?). But, the day it ended for me was the day that Andre the Giant went over to the dark side or in the biz "turned heel" and joined forces with Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and challenged Hulk Hogan. Andre was the gentle giant and I knew it was for ratings and for a bout with Andre and Hogan. I felt like the whole thing sold out. Of course I saw the bout, but it all broke my heart.
I haven't really followed wrestling since. I hear bits and pieces of what is going on and am embarrassed when I do hang out with fans, cause most of the time I can only come up with the old names from the old days.
Last week, on a whim, I watched Requiem for a Dream. What a horrifying movie about addiction. And, how brilliantly pulled off by Darren Aronofsky. He is gifted at having you feel the character. He has a way of mixing reality and the dream world or the fantasy to where you aren't really sure which is which anymore.
Now, the movie. (Spoiler Alert! Stop Reading.)
Just hearing that opening song, seeing the posters, knowing that we are 20 years from that time, but that time is being played out to the last note. It's a struggle to holding on to the only thing you know. Then watching a struggle to not go back to the only thing you know and try to move forward with your life, your next chapter - what you should be doing. Marisa Tomei telling Mickey Rourke, well you had a heart attack, you should contact your daughter, that's what you are supposed to do when these things happen. Mickey Rourke going through his pictures of wrestlers, places he has been, to find a grade school picture of his daughter with multiple phone numbers written on the back and crossed out as a new one was added on.
The Wrestler. That's what he was and when he was able to be that person, he was at his most content. After the first bout in the beginning of the movie when he goes home to find his trailer all locked up cause he's missed rent again. After being tossed around like that, all I could think of was a shower or a bath, some Tiger Balm and some hot tea. He can't have that. What does he do? Goes to his van, where he has a pillow and blanket, takes some pain pills and has a beer while looking at his pictures as a younger wrestler on the side of the van. To me, it just spoke passion.
Also, Darren once again is able to get this overall feel of the audience peaking in on this person's life. It definitely had a feel of a biography, without the narration. You were walking along this person's life. The back story was not given to you on a silver platter either. You knew by observing what this man has gone through and who he is. One of my favorite places was where the walk through the supermarket's back sections mirrored the walk to the wrestling ring. And, how sad and awful it was - his new reality.
The Wrestler - Randy 'the Ram' Robinson, Mickey Rourke, is someone I would like to know. Charasmatic, fun, charming, sweet, a big teddy bear, but also someone that would make my skin crawl and I wouldn't be able to place why. Mickey Rourke plays this character beautifully, wonderfully, like on the ropes of the ring itself. It is so good to have him really come back and with such an amazing performance.
I feel like I want to talk more about this, but I'm getting tired and I really just needed to say what a beautiful movie this is. Ahhh, bliss.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Completion is an Ever-Going Process
Alright, I missed a week, but I am staying with my posting stuff from last year - here is two that I put into one:
Just when you thought you were finished....
This is what I feel like most of my life. And, maybe this is just my inner child that grinds against the, well grind. I ever so often want to stomp my feet and clinch my fists in a tantrum of "why". Why isn't everything finished? I work so hard and fell like I have gone no where.
It really feels like the evil demon raising it's head. I finish something off, then POW, there's another piece to the puzzle. Like cleaning. You get done with the kitchen - it's spotless - and now the bathroom needs cleaning.
But, there is also the phrase - don't rest on your laurels. Where again my inner child wants to stick it's tongue out and go PPPfffftttt. Why not? I worked hard for those laurels. Time to sit down and enjoy them. Ah, the trophy. The shining moments in our life that we re-tell the story of over and over again - I was somebody that day. I have come to find out that some of trophy stories - my accomplishments - have come to be a bit dusty.
I got 2 I-Ching readings last year regarding Completion - shown below.
The daunting thought of nothing being complete. I guess it is also something that has to do with adulthood. When I was a child, once I finished the coloring book, it was done, I couldn't color in it anymore. But being an adult is much more complicated. Even when, depending on what your beliefs are, death occurs it is but another journey. I try to think of the "oblivion" as my final resting place and I can't. And, this is either because it is not, or as a human being, I can't comprehend this because everything is constant.
I've been trying to tell myself I am done with things. They are complete. Resting on my completion of such. But....I'm not. And, the resting has only caused more frustration than the actual doing. Then, I go into the head spin of when? And, when do I get to have my down time?
So, is there anything that is complete? I guess, when you finish a job or a show, that is complete, but more than likely, aren't you going to have another one? And, isn't that new endeavor going to have flavors of the one you completed?
This is where my inner child sits down, cross legged and lets out a heavy sigh.
OK, fine, I agree that everything I do in this life will never find completion, yet I should keep striving like I am. That works. Now, to just get that behemoth of a to do list in order. And, have peace with the fact that it will never be truly complete.
64: Nearing Completion
General Meaning: The situation is incomplete, but the chaos of the past is slowly giving way to order, and the goal is in sight. Nevertheless, you are still treading on thin ice - the way ahead is unobstructed, the goal is clear, but a cautious and careful attitude is still essential, lest you slip and fall.
Nearing Completion is the last hexagram of the I Ching. It suggests that the ever-spinning wheel of life never reaches an absolute conclusion. Just as a hidden sadness resides in the heart of true euphoria, just as the seeds of great achievement often sprout first in a caldron of adversity, so too no end is ever really complete without a new beginning stirring inside it. Though we divide life into categories in order to understand and master it, experience itself is seamless. With this reading, the 64-spoked, the timeless wheel of change is ready to spin onward, ever evolving, ever staying the same.
The situation represented by this reading can be compared to that of taking a lengthy trek over a high mountain. At some point before reaching the peak, you can see in detail exactly how much farther you must travel. You will have a good idea what it will take to reach the top, because of the climbing experience you've accumulated thus far. However, when you do reach the peak, which has been in sight for quite a long period of sustained effort, you will have done only that. You will have reached the top - achieving your initial goal - but now you must still descend the other side. This last critical segment is what remains before completion.
You may have little information and no experience of what it's like descending the other side of the mountain. All your attention may have been focused on the route up. The coming situation may seem very strange to you, unlike anything that you have experienced before. For the back side of the mountain is where all of the true mysteries reside. Proceed carefully, cautiously, alertly - and you will reach your goal.
63: Completion
It is a fine irony that after completion of a project or great enterprise, there is still much left to do. Completion is merely a pause in the cycle of creation and decay, a momentary stillpoint for the swinging pendulum of life. Though completion does imply a period of restful pause - one which usually has been well-earned - it is not an actual end, but rather a uniquely harmonious flat spot in the constancy of change and movement.
The image of After Completion is that of a kettle of water boiling over a fire. When the forces are balanced, the water boils properly; but if the pot is too full, it may boil over and put out the fire; or, if the fire is too hot, it may evaporate all the water. In the equilibrium which follows the completion of an arduous task, the current forces must be watched carefully to assure that a proper balance is maintained.
After Completion is also the time for fine tuning, for refinements and embellishments of what has already been accomplished.
Even if we enjoy a rewarding situation at the moment, the laws of the natural world dictate that influence and success must eventually decline. Don't let current good fortunes prompt careless or relaxed attitudes. Whatever is successful or already established needs to be carefully tended and maintained, without trying to expand it. What is incomplete should be finished, and brought to fruition without delay.
Take satisfaction upon completion, but do not dwell on it. To do so brings a kind of completion to your own influence and capability.
Just when you thought you were finished....
This is what I feel like most of my life. And, maybe this is just my inner child that grinds against the, well grind. I ever so often want to stomp my feet and clinch my fists in a tantrum of "why". Why isn't everything finished? I work so hard and fell like I have gone no where.
It really feels like the evil demon raising it's head. I finish something off, then POW, there's another piece to the puzzle. Like cleaning. You get done with the kitchen - it's spotless - and now the bathroom needs cleaning.
But, there is also the phrase - don't rest on your laurels. Where again my inner child wants to stick it's tongue out and go PPPfffftttt. Why not? I worked hard for those laurels. Time to sit down and enjoy them. Ah, the trophy. The shining moments in our life that we re-tell the story of over and over again - I was somebody that day. I have come to find out that some of trophy stories - my accomplishments - have come to be a bit dusty.
I got 2 I-Ching readings last year regarding Completion - shown below.
The daunting thought of nothing being complete. I guess it is also something that has to do with adulthood. When I was a child, once I finished the coloring book, it was done, I couldn't color in it anymore. But being an adult is much more complicated. Even when, depending on what your beliefs are, death occurs it is but another journey. I try to think of the "oblivion" as my final resting place and I can't. And, this is either because it is not, or as a human being, I can't comprehend this because everything is constant.
I've been trying to tell myself I am done with things. They are complete. Resting on my completion of such. But....I'm not. And, the resting has only caused more frustration than the actual doing. Then, I go into the head spin of when? And, when do I get to have my down time?
So, is there anything that is complete? I guess, when you finish a job or a show, that is complete, but more than likely, aren't you going to have another one? And, isn't that new endeavor going to have flavors of the one you completed?
This is where my inner child sits down, cross legged and lets out a heavy sigh.
OK, fine, I agree that everything I do in this life will never find completion, yet I should keep striving like I am. That works. Now, to just get that behemoth of a to do list in order. And, have peace with the fact that it will never be truly complete.
64: Nearing Completion
General Meaning: The situation is incomplete, but the chaos of the past is slowly giving way to order, and the goal is in sight. Nevertheless, you are still treading on thin ice - the way ahead is unobstructed, the goal is clear, but a cautious and careful attitude is still essential, lest you slip and fall.
Nearing Completion is the last hexagram of the I Ching. It suggests that the ever-spinning wheel of life never reaches an absolute conclusion. Just as a hidden sadness resides in the heart of true euphoria, just as the seeds of great achievement often sprout first in a caldron of adversity, so too no end is ever really complete without a new beginning stirring inside it. Though we divide life into categories in order to understand and master it, experience itself is seamless. With this reading, the 64-spoked, the timeless wheel of change is ready to spin onward, ever evolving, ever staying the same.
The situation represented by this reading can be compared to that of taking a lengthy trek over a high mountain. At some point before reaching the peak, you can see in detail exactly how much farther you must travel. You will have a good idea what it will take to reach the top, because of the climbing experience you've accumulated thus far. However, when you do reach the peak, which has been in sight for quite a long period of sustained effort, you will have done only that. You will have reached the top - achieving your initial goal - but now you must still descend the other side. This last critical segment is what remains before completion.
You may have little information and no experience of what it's like descending the other side of the mountain. All your attention may have been focused on the route up. The coming situation may seem very strange to you, unlike anything that you have experienced before. For the back side of the mountain is where all of the true mysteries reside. Proceed carefully, cautiously, alertly - and you will reach your goal.
63: Completion
It is a fine irony that after completion of a project or great enterprise, there is still much left to do. Completion is merely a pause in the cycle of creation and decay, a momentary stillpoint for the swinging pendulum of life. Though completion does imply a period of restful pause - one which usually has been well-earned - it is not an actual end, but rather a uniquely harmonious flat spot in the constancy of change and movement.
The image of After Completion is that of a kettle of water boiling over a fire. When the forces are balanced, the water boils properly; but if the pot is too full, it may boil over and put out the fire; or, if the fire is too hot, it may evaporate all the water. In the equilibrium which follows the completion of an arduous task, the current forces must be watched carefully to assure that a proper balance is maintained.
After Completion is also the time for fine tuning, for refinements and embellishments of what has already been accomplished.
Even if we enjoy a rewarding situation at the moment, the laws of the natural world dictate that influence and success must eventually decline. Don't let current good fortunes prompt careless or relaxed attitudes. Whatever is successful or already established needs to be carefully tended and maintained, without trying to expand it. What is incomplete should be finished, and brought to fruition without delay.
Take satisfaction upon completion, but do not dwell on it. To do so brings a kind of completion to your own influence and capability.
Friday, January 16, 2009
What to Blog About?
I actually have nothing to blog about, but am trying to keep up with my once a week postings.
So, maybe, I can say, I am very excited about the new Battlestar coming on tonight. Yay!
And, I hope to have some pictures up soon from Christmas.
And, I am really, really addicted to Facebook now. Oh my gosh. It's like crack. Or what I envision crack must be. So many people to talk to. So little free time at work. Oh, I'm just going to go on for a little while (20 minutes passes) - ah, darn it!
So, yes, I don't have a lot going on right now. And, it really feels great. I hope to be blogging more about other stuff, but right now I am just enjoying the down time.
So, maybe, I can say, I am very excited about the new Battlestar coming on tonight. Yay!
And, I hope to have some pictures up soon from Christmas.
And, I am really, really addicted to Facebook now. Oh my gosh. It's like crack. Or what I envision crack must be. So many people to talk to. So little free time at work. Oh, I'm just going to go on for a little while (20 minutes passes) - ah, darn it!
So, yes, I don't have a lot going on right now. And, it really feels great. I hope to be blogging more about other stuff, but right now I am just enjoying the down time.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Random Conversation Regarding the Upcoming Snow
Co-Worker: So, are you prepared for the 2 to 3 inches we are getting.
Me: Oh yeah. I live near the park, so I'm going to hopefully have time to go make a snowman tomorrow.
Co-Worker: Ah. So I see you are one that is looking forward to this weather.
Me: Well, I don't own a car, I don't have a driveway. I rent, so most of the time, someone else clears my stoop. And, I don't have much money, so this seems like a good time for free entertainment.
Co-Worker: Well, yes driving in it is going to be very hard.
Me: My plans got canceled for this weekend. No driving around in the snow for me. Have a good rest of your day.
There are times when I am grateful of my college life style and that I have not reached the adulthood of owning a house, a car and having to do weather related chores. I still get to enjoy snow.
Me: Oh yeah. I live near the park, so I'm going to hopefully have time to go make a snowman tomorrow.
Co-Worker: Ah. So I see you are one that is looking forward to this weather.
Me: Well, I don't own a car, I don't have a driveway. I rent, so most of the time, someone else clears my stoop. And, I don't have much money, so this seems like a good time for free entertainment.
Co-Worker: Well, yes driving in it is going to be very hard.
Me: My plans got canceled for this weekend. No driving around in the snow for me. Have a good rest of your day.
There are times when I am grateful of my college life style and that I have not reached the adulthood of owning a house, a car and having to do weather related chores. I still get to enjoy snow.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Random Thoughts Before the Holidays
I woke up this morning having to figure out where I was. I believe when you cross time zones or oceans, a sense of disorientation sets in. You start out with the questions of who am I, where am I. When you go home, or in my case, the place I grew up, there is a sense of nostalgia, a sense of knowing. But, not.
I think I was dreaming about being in a heist before I woke up. A combination of watching Dark Knight and needing money I believe.
The finally waking and realizing and then reality setting in. The feeling of my father's absence is a little overwhelming. I miss my father. It's a missing that I can't describe and have never felt before. A missing limb? No. I can't explain. I just know there is a pain, a dull ache that I will never get over, but I am learning to live with. The only parts I can explain are the regret for not seeing him as much the last few years, the desire to see him, just for 5 seconds, for one last time and the laserlight of 'why' radiating to the heavens. I have had to put on a protective shield while in this house.
The holidays are also not the same. My mom and I were discussing that it is harder this year than last because we were still in shock. But, that is not the only thing.
Everyone always said, as I get older that the holidays would feel less and less like they did in the past. That having children would be where the feeling of the holidays would come back. But, that's not 100% true. I had been feeling the holidays these past few years. The excitement, the warmth of family. The fun of being with others in the sense of fellowship. I have not felt that for 2 years now. Except for the holiday songs and cold weather, you couldn't tell me it was the holidays. I loved spending the holidays with my ex-husband's family. It brought me back to feeling like I did as a child during this time of year. The anticipation, the excitement. And, when both of our families were able to meet, now, no doubt it was stressful, but it was what I had always wanted and what I had missed about the holidays when I was in college, etc. Now, it's just me and my mom.
This year, we are going to spend the holidays with our next door neighbors and long time friends. People that know me like family. In writing that, I have to ask - does family even really know me? But, I digress. It will definitely be something completely new and unfamiliar, but something I had been wanting to do. Be with friends that are my family for special occasions. This is something I will also need to get used to and learn to live with, because this is all I have left. My mom, the bits of distant relatives and friends.
Luckily, I have a lot of friends. And, I am begining to trust and believe now that I have the kind of friends that are going to go the distance. The kind that we will all do stupid stuff, work through it and move onto the next section of life. I have really wonderful people in my life. And, they walk me through the this forest of the life I didn't think I would be living.
God Bless Us...Everyone.
I think I was dreaming about being in a heist before I woke up. A combination of watching Dark Knight and needing money I believe.
The finally waking and realizing and then reality setting in. The feeling of my father's absence is a little overwhelming. I miss my father. It's a missing that I can't describe and have never felt before. A missing limb? No. I can't explain. I just know there is a pain, a dull ache that I will never get over, but I am learning to live with. The only parts I can explain are the regret for not seeing him as much the last few years, the desire to see him, just for 5 seconds, for one last time and the laserlight of 'why' radiating to the heavens. I have had to put on a protective shield while in this house.
The holidays are also not the same. My mom and I were discussing that it is harder this year than last because we were still in shock. But, that is not the only thing.
Everyone always said, as I get older that the holidays would feel less and less like they did in the past. That having children would be where the feeling of the holidays would come back. But, that's not 100% true. I had been feeling the holidays these past few years. The excitement, the warmth of family. The fun of being with others in the sense of fellowship. I have not felt that for 2 years now. Except for the holiday songs and cold weather, you couldn't tell me it was the holidays. I loved spending the holidays with my ex-husband's family. It brought me back to feeling like I did as a child during this time of year. The anticipation, the excitement. And, when both of our families were able to meet, now, no doubt it was stressful, but it was what I had always wanted and what I had missed about the holidays when I was in college, etc. Now, it's just me and my mom.
This year, we are going to spend the holidays with our next door neighbors and long time friends. People that know me like family. In writing that, I have to ask - does family even really know me? But, I digress. It will definitely be something completely new and unfamiliar, but something I had been wanting to do. Be with friends that are my family for special occasions. This is something I will also need to get used to and learn to live with, because this is all I have left. My mom, the bits of distant relatives and friends.
Luckily, I have a lot of friends. And, I am begining to trust and believe now that I have the kind of friends that are going to go the distance. The kind that we will all do stupid stuff, work through it and move onto the next section of life. I have really wonderful people in my life. And, they walk me through the this forest of the life I didn't think I would be living.
God Bless Us...Everyone.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
ER Visits Have Always Been for Unfortunate Events
I have had 3 to 4 ER visits in my life. I say 3 to 4 because at least 1 of those was at a clinic type ER, but again - emergency care.
Was I bleeding from the eyes? Did I have a fever of 105? Was it a life or death situation? Was I continually evacuating without sign of relief?
No.
Although - except for the bleeding from the eyes - I feel like all the above has been true at some point and I have weathered through one way or the other to finally get over it and make it to my primary care physician or doctor in the area realizing that the last place in the world I would want to be is an ER when I am in that kind of trauma.
But, for what happens to me, where there is a question of emergency, it is for an unfortunate reason.
My first ER trip I barely remember. I was 9 or 10? I had been playing hide and go seek with my cousins within a camper van - it had a pop up bed on the top. So, I crawled out the pop up bed section window, onto the roof of the van and decided to pop back through the passenger side window. On doing this, my hands slipped off the roof and I woke up on my back in the gravel below, bleeding from around my head and my left shoulder hurt badly. So, being disoriented and scared, I began screaming - the whole family ran out and I was taken to my bedroom to figure out what the heck happened. They cleaned up my head, which was just minor scratches and my dad loaded me into the car and we began the long drive to the hospital (being that we were out in the country at my grandparents' farm). The doctor looked me over, said I may have a concussion and to watch me. And, probably a green line fracture in my collar bone, but as long as I was careful, put my arm in a sling for awhile, I should be fine.
Eventually, this trip had a part two - I was roller skating with my friends and fell, landed on my left arm - shoulder went up past my ear (my friends told me with a "wow that was really cool" following) and off again I went - this time I had to wear a brace like football padding around my shoulders for 6 weeks. Hairline fracture on my collarbone and no recess during my school hours.
My next trip was a very short lived one. Was running a relay race in P.E. (7th grade?), slipped, fell, hit my left arm, got up, kept running, finished the race (1st place kiddos) and then noticed my elbow was swollen to the size of a baseball. My mom came to school, picked me up and off to the ER we went. It was a sprang and I got a sling that had an attached ice pack to it. The next day at school the sling kept leaking so I faked some extreme pain and went home to use this ridiculous contraption correctly. And, watched a lot of TV.
The next trip was in college. I had gotten home late from a theatre project and went to sleep in my contacts. The next morning, I got up and tried to remove my contacts so my eyes could get a couple hours rest before I had to take a facilitator test at a ropes course. My left contact, would not come out. After about 20 minutes of pulling, and extreme pain, I drove myself, 1/2 blind to the emergency clinic. I found out that my contact was not in my eye at all. Must have fallen out while I was asleep and I was trying to pull my Corina out. In doing that, I scratched my Corina and ended up with a bandage over my eye for the day and some drops for later. And, I took my test, one-eyed, having to climb ropes, jump off of logs to grab rings in mid-air and change airline cable out, on a telephone pole, at 20 feet. I passed.
Grad school. I was working for the tech crew and we were doing our down time cleaning. There was a closet that needed to be cleaned out. I was reaching up and taking down paint cans and passing them to someone behind me when the whole shelf gave way and WHAM, paint can to the head. I got a little dizzy, but kept on plugging. My supervisor made me go to the NYU ER to make sure I did not have a concussion. I did not and was later awarded the "Heads!" Award at the year end celebration.
Now, let's skip forward to just a mere few days ago. I was putting a cork back on a wine bottle (sober I might add - I had only had one glass of wine). The cork slipped off the rim of the bottle and WHAM, my wrist went into my wine glass sitting next to it. The glass was shattered into small pieces. So, I go to start picking up the pieces of glass. My roommate (Christopher) comes in and says - wait, how much of that is wine and how much of that is you. I looked down at my hands and there is blood all over them and all over the counter. Whoops. So, we patch me up with some new skin and I go to bed. I wake up about 5am to some extreme pain. Tried to go back to sleep and realized - I needed to drag myself to the ER. Christopher had to work, so I just let him know what I was doing and that I would be OK. And, off I went to my first real NY ER experience.
I went to Interfaith Hospital in Brooklyn, about 20 or so blocks from where I live. Sat in one waiting room for a couple of hours, at one point a nurse cleaned my wound and re-bandaged me. There only seemed to be a few people, so I was breathing a sigh of relief. Then, I was called to the other room, which I came to find out - was the ER.
People were all in beds and a couple of us with minor issues were in some chairs. All my care and looking at was done in the mini-waiting room. My analysis to urine tests, the looking at the cut on my arm, the Tetanus shot. There is no doubt in my mind why people get sick from something completely different than what they went in with. I went and had x-rays to make sure there was no glass and my arm wasn't broken. Then, back to the little waiting room. I tried to read and memorize lines, but it was so hard with so many conversations going on around me. Or screaming and moaning. It was a cacophony of pain and confusion. People with family demanding answers. People so out of it they can barely make coherent sentences. I felt really lucky that I was able to handle my situation by myself.
At one point I excused myself saying that if I didn't get something to eat, I would pass out and then they would have another problem on their hands and grabbed a cereal bar. The main ER doctor came and saw me at about hour 5. He said that I was lucky - barely missed the main artery and that I should get one or two stitches. The other ER doctor that had been helping me took me to the "Fast Track" area and got the kit to administer the stitches.
He came back in and asked if I was allergic to Lanocain. No, I replied. Then he asked if I just wanted the stitches or if I wanted to be numbed first. I said, numbed, of course. I believe I am a tough enough person without being a show off. He then told me that since the area I sliced was so sensitive, the Lanocain shots were going to hurt as bad if not worse. Wait, wait, wait. Can you just knock me out? No. Now another note here. I was just sitting on a bed. There was no place for me to put my arm. I was going to have to hold my arm and hold still while he put a needle and thread through the area. OK doc, numb me. I knew that at least that would take away the pain in my wrist for a bit and be worth it.
He had to do about 5 injections to really get it numb. I had wished now, I had just gotten the stitches. Shown off like a tough girl. Sigh.
He then threaded his needle and I watched as he stitched up my wrist. And, of course, there were still places where I could feel the needle. And, I have to admit, either from lack of food or disgust, I did feel a little faint. But being the person who likes to create special effects for gore, I wanted to watch what this looked like.
I ended up only getting one stitch. I think the doctor was afraid of hurting me more. So, all else fails, I should have a pretty cool scar looking like a tattoo for some secret organization on my arm.
I am now on some really powerful antibiotics, which sucks. And, wrist is still bandaged and the place where they gave me the Tetanus shot is in as much pain as the cut itself. But, all in all, I am fine. And, now have another adventure to tell.
On a side note, I have been a very bad blogger these past few months. I still have about 5 drafts that I do want to share. So, look to 2009 as a few postings of things I should have written in 2008.
Was I bleeding from the eyes? Did I have a fever of 105? Was it a life or death situation? Was I continually evacuating without sign of relief?
No.
Although - except for the bleeding from the eyes - I feel like all the above has been true at some point and I have weathered through one way or the other to finally get over it and make it to my primary care physician or doctor in the area realizing that the last place in the world I would want to be is an ER when I am in that kind of trauma.
But, for what happens to me, where there is a question of emergency, it is for an unfortunate reason.
My first ER trip I barely remember. I was 9 or 10? I had been playing hide and go seek with my cousins within a camper van - it had a pop up bed on the top. So, I crawled out the pop up bed section window, onto the roof of the van and decided to pop back through the passenger side window. On doing this, my hands slipped off the roof and I woke up on my back in the gravel below, bleeding from around my head and my left shoulder hurt badly. So, being disoriented and scared, I began screaming - the whole family ran out and I was taken to my bedroom to figure out what the heck happened. They cleaned up my head, which was just minor scratches and my dad loaded me into the car and we began the long drive to the hospital (being that we were out in the country at my grandparents' farm). The doctor looked me over, said I may have a concussion and to watch me. And, probably a green line fracture in my collar bone, but as long as I was careful, put my arm in a sling for awhile, I should be fine.
Eventually, this trip had a part two - I was roller skating with my friends and fell, landed on my left arm - shoulder went up past my ear (my friends told me with a "wow that was really cool" following) and off again I went - this time I had to wear a brace like football padding around my shoulders for 6 weeks. Hairline fracture on my collarbone and no recess during my school hours.
My next trip was a very short lived one. Was running a relay race in P.E. (7th grade?), slipped, fell, hit my left arm, got up, kept running, finished the race (1st place kiddos) and then noticed my elbow was swollen to the size of a baseball. My mom came to school, picked me up and off to the ER we went. It was a sprang and I got a sling that had an attached ice pack to it. The next day at school the sling kept leaking so I faked some extreme pain and went home to use this ridiculous contraption correctly. And, watched a lot of TV.
The next trip was in college. I had gotten home late from a theatre project and went to sleep in my contacts. The next morning, I got up and tried to remove my contacts so my eyes could get a couple hours rest before I had to take a facilitator test at a ropes course. My left contact, would not come out. After about 20 minutes of pulling, and extreme pain, I drove myself, 1/2 blind to the emergency clinic. I found out that my contact was not in my eye at all. Must have fallen out while I was asleep and I was trying to pull my Corina out. In doing that, I scratched my Corina and ended up with a bandage over my eye for the day and some drops for later. And, I took my test, one-eyed, having to climb ropes, jump off of logs to grab rings in mid-air and change airline cable out, on a telephone pole, at 20 feet. I passed.
Grad school. I was working for the tech crew and we were doing our down time cleaning. There was a closet that needed to be cleaned out. I was reaching up and taking down paint cans and passing them to someone behind me when the whole shelf gave way and WHAM, paint can to the head. I got a little dizzy, but kept on plugging. My supervisor made me go to the NYU ER to make sure I did not have a concussion. I did not and was later awarded the "Heads!" Award at the year end celebration.
Now, let's skip forward to just a mere few days ago. I was putting a cork back on a wine bottle (sober I might add - I had only had one glass of wine). The cork slipped off the rim of the bottle and WHAM, my wrist went into my wine glass sitting next to it. The glass was shattered into small pieces. So, I go to start picking up the pieces of glass. My roommate (Christopher) comes in and says - wait, how much of that is wine and how much of that is you. I looked down at my hands and there is blood all over them and all over the counter. Whoops. So, we patch me up with some new skin and I go to bed. I wake up about 5am to some extreme pain. Tried to go back to sleep and realized - I needed to drag myself to the ER. Christopher had to work, so I just let him know what I was doing and that I would be OK. And, off I went to my first real NY ER experience.
I went to Interfaith Hospital in Brooklyn, about 20 or so blocks from where I live. Sat in one waiting room for a couple of hours, at one point a nurse cleaned my wound and re-bandaged me. There only seemed to be a few people, so I was breathing a sigh of relief. Then, I was called to the other room, which I came to find out - was the ER.
People were all in beds and a couple of us with minor issues were in some chairs. All my care and looking at was done in the mini-waiting room. My analysis to urine tests, the looking at the cut on my arm, the Tetanus shot. There is no doubt in my mind why people get sick from something completely different than what they went in with. I went and had x-rays to make sure there was no glass and my arm wasn't broken. Then, back to the little waiting room. I tried to read and memorize lines, but it was so hard with so many conversations going on around me. Or screaming and moaning. It was a cacophony of pain and confusion. People with family demanding answers. People so out of it they can barely make coherent sentences. I felt really lucky that I was able to handle my situation by myself.
At one point I excused myself saying that if I didn't get something to eat, I would pass out and then they would have another problem on their hands and grabbed a cereal bar. The main ER doctor came and saw me at about hour 5. He said that I was lucky - barely missed the main artery and that I should get one or two stitches. The other ER doctor that had been helping me took me to the "Fast Track" area and got the kit to administer the stitches.
He came back in and asked if I was allergic to Lanocain. No, I replied. Then he asked if I just wanted the stitches or if I wanted to be numbed first. I said, numbed, of course. I believe I am a tough enough person without being a show off. He then told me that since the area I sliced was so sensitive, the Lanocain shots were going to hurt as bad if not worse. Wait, wait, wait. Can you just knock me out? No. Now another note here. I was just sitting on a bed. There was no place for me to put my arm. I was going to have to hold my arm and hold still while he put a needle and thread through the area. OK doc, numb me. I knew that at least that would take away the pain in my wrist for a bit and be worth it.
He had to do about 5 injections to really get it numb. I had wished now, I had just gotten the stitches. Shown off like a tough girl. Sigh.
He then threaded his needle and I watched as he stitched up my wrist. And, of course, there were still places where I could feel the needle. And, I have to admit, either from lack of food or disgust, I did feel a little faint. But being the person who likes to create special effects for gore, I wanted to watch what this looked like.
I ended up only getting one stitch. I think the doctor was afraid of hurting me more. So, all else fails, I should have a pretty cool scar looking like a tattoo for some secret organization on my arm.
I am now on some really powerful antibiotics, which sucks. And, wrist is still bandaged and the place where they gave me the Tetanus shot is in as much pain as the cut itself. But, all in all, I am fine. And, now have another adventure to tell.
On a side note, I have been a very bad blogger these past few months. I still have about 5 drafts that I do want to share. So, look to 2009 as a few postings of things I should have written in 2008.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Memed Again!!
Well crap - Memed again! Actually, there was a point in time where I was getting memes left and right - some repeated. I ignored them. I'm a bad person sometimes.
But, this will help get the writing juices flowing so here goes:
"Seven Strange Things," in which I'm required to list, well, seven strange things about myself. This is from Mr. James Comtois.
1. I have been growing a section of hair and braiding it for over 15 years now. Those of you who know me, know this isn't that strange. But, to hairdressers and people I work with, it is incredibly strange. And when I say I started growing it in _______ school, people are even more astonished. And, I re-braided it about once a week.
2. I am pre-mature gray and got my first silver-gray hairs when I was 15. Yes, I am a silver fox. Down boys, down.
3. I was born in this country and adopted. Again, not that strange except for 2 things. One - who adopts children in America anymore - most of them are from Russia and China. And, I look a lot like my mom, especially the pictures where I have glasses. It is pretty uncanny.
4. I have never had to purchase a personal music device (i.e. walkman/Ipod) That's right kids. I just now realized this. My first "walkman", my dad, who was Assistant Principal of the High School, had taken one away from a kid and told him he could come and pick it up at the end of the year - the kid never did - he gave it to me. Since then I have either got them as gifts, prizes, found in grocery stores and never claimed, and most recently, got my pops's Ipod.
5. I once tried to teach kittens how to swim. When I was very young: 3 or 4 years old, I decided that my cousin's kittens wanted to be in the backyard pool that was about 2-3 ft deep and I would teach them how to swim. So, I put about 5 kittens in the pool and believe it or not, cats can swim! Seeing that they were strong swimmers, I, upon seeing something shiny, left the swimming, crying kittens in the pool. Fortunately, they were meowing loud enough that the whole household came out and got the kittens out of the pool. I was then told that cats and kittens don't like water. I don't know if that is something strange about me or just a strange situation.
6. I wore an eyepatch on and off for a few years. I had Amblyopia or lazy eye when I was born. They were trying a new method on me and covered the strong eye with an eye-patch which consisted of masking tape over the glass part of my glasses. Low and behold, the "lazy" eye got to work and the treatment succeeded. I was even told by an eye doctor that I shouldn't even tell doctor's that I had Amblyopia- there is no trace of it. And, that was a pretty amazing feat.
7. I used to think the I was the Greatest American Hero Sorry, I was running out of things and just thought of this. My friend and I used to play like we were of course the beloved character played by Mr. William Katt in the aforementioned TV show - the female versions. For many years I waited for my super hero suit from above. Alas, it never arrived.
OK - I am sure there are way more juicier strange things that are ME, but you are just going to have to buy me a beer and try to get them out of me.
And, do you want to try this - it's fun. If you do, post your link to your blog or put them in my comments.
"Believe it of not..I'm walking on air..."
But, this will help get the writing juices flowing so here goes:
"Seven Strange Things," in which I'm required to list, well, seven strange things about myself. This is from Mr. James Comtois.
1. I have been growing a section of hair and braiding it for over 15 years now. Those of you who know me, know this isn't that strange. But, to hairdressers and people I work with, it is incredibly strange. And when I say I started growing it in _______ school, people are even more astonished. And, I re-braided it about once a week.
2. I am pre-mature gray and got my first silver-gray hairs when I was 15. Yes, I am a silver fox. Down boys, down.
3. I was born in this country and adopted. Again, not that strange except for 2 things. One - who adopts children in America anymore - most of them are from Russia and China. And, I look a lot like my mom, especially the pictures where I have glasses. It is pretty uncanny.
4. I have never had to purchase a personal music device (i.e. walkman/Ipod) That's right kids. I just now realized this. My first "walkman", my dad, who was Assistant Principal of the High School, had taken one away from a kid and told him he could come and pick it up at the end of the year - the kid never did - he gave it to me. Since then I have either got them as gifts, prizes, found in grocery stores and never claimed, and most recently, got my pops's Ipod.
5. I once tried to teach kittens how to swim. When I was very young: 3 or 4 years old, I decided that my cousin's kittens wanted to be in the backyard pool that was about 2-3 ft deep and I would teach them how to swim. So, I put about 5 kittens in the pool and believe it or not, cats can swim! Seeing that they were strong swimmers, I, upon seeing something shiny, left the swimming, crying kittens in the pool. Fortunately, they were meowing loud enough that the whole household came out and got the kittens out of the pool. I was then told that cats and kittens don't like water. I don't know if that is something strange about me or just a strange situation.
6. I wore an eyepatch on and off for a few years. I had Amblyopia or lazy eye when I was born. They were trying a new method on me and covered the strong eye with an eye-patch which consisted of masking tape over the glass part of my glasses. Low and behold, the "lazy" eye got to work and the treatment succeeded. I was even told by an eye doctor that I shouldn't even tell doctor's that I had Amblyopia- there is no trace of it. And, that was a pretty amazing feat.
7. I used to think the I was the Greatest American Hero Sorry, I was running out of things and just thought of this. My friend and I used to play like we were of course the beloved character played by Mr. William Katt in the aforementioned TV show - the female versions. For many years I waited for my super hero suit from above. Alas, it never arrived.
OK - I am sure there are way more juicier strange things that are ME, but you are just going to have to buy me a beer and try to get them out of me.
And, do you want to try this - it's fun. If you do, post your link to your blog or put them in my comments.
"Believe it of not..I'm walking on air..."
Monday, October 13, 2008
It's been awhile......
And, it's going to be a bit longer. I would like to post, but the vote is on so... Go out and vote. And, read a blog about the voter experience - check out Scratching Words in the Dirt or Open Veins. New York voting experience. I'm going to take one from the "Four Evey Day" Blog for my voting experience. Let's see if I can do this in four sentences.
Got up at 6:30, put on my coat with PJ's still on and went across the street to my polling place, but found the line to be longer than most lines I would wait in for peak concert tickets. Went back home, got ready for work and then ventured out again to find it just as long, but excited as I was, said screw it and got in line and listened to music, read my book and played some Tetris and was given a free Monster drink from some promotional people passing them out. Over an hour later, I was met by beaming tired faces showing me the way to where I would place my vote. After a few moments and getting re-acquainted with the voting machine itself (seeing that during the primaries, I found myself on paper ballot due to the fact that they had lost my registration along with 100s that day) I voted and walked back out into the sunshine, head held high and feeling mighty good about being an American.
Got up at 6:30, put on my coat with PJ's still on and went across the street to my polling place, but found the line to be longer than most lines I would wait in for peak concert tickets. Went back home, got ready for work and then ventured out again to find it just as long, but excited as I was, said screw it and got in line and listened to music, read my book and played some Tetris and was given a free Monster drink from some promotional people passing them out. Over an hour later, I was met by beaming tired faces showing me the way to where I would place my vote. After a few moments and getting re-acquainted with the voting machine itself (seeing that during the primaries, I found myself on paper ballot due to the fact that they had lost my registration along with 100s that day) I voted and walked back out into the sunshine, head held high and feeling mighty good about being an American.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Quilting!!!!
I have so much more to write about, but no freakin' time people. So, with that, I give you Quilts!!!
(My mom's quilt is on the Tuesday blog - 5 pics down.)
Two blogs plotted out, one in notes on paper and one stewing in the juices of my head.
I shall be back!
(My mom's quilt is on the Tuesday blog - 5 pics down.)
Two blogs plotted out, one in notes on paper and one stewing in the juices of my head.
I shall be back!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I Will Blog Again
Things have been crazy and I do want to write more (I have 2 drafts I am working on, but isn't that always the case), but time has been so limited.
I will be back soon! Promise!
I will be back soon! Promise!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The Task and Art of Repaving a Path
I have been noticing a lot of road construction recently. Tearing up roads, pouring down tar, the big rollers smoothing over the tar, all in the blazing sun. You wonder if this is what hell could be like. I mean, heat, on heat, then add some more heat.
That got me to thinking about life. And, how hard it is to start over. And looking at the path you are on. Trying to figure out if this is the right one or not. Or which one should I take? How should I narrow this down?
And, I realized, sometimes you don't have to completely take another road in life. It might be better to improve the road you are on first. Heck, you leave behind the road you were just on and, that road, well, could use some work.
I think re-paving a road is a lot harder than just abandoning the road and going off in another direction. It takes evaluation - how much damage needs to be repaired. It takes hard work - from the little patch up jobs to the complete destruction and re-building. It can be difficult - sweating it out, situations that are already very heated, pushing even further.
But, when you are done, when the road cools, you have something you can travel on again, smoothly. The small holes, the extra bits are gone. The road is lighter and you feel like you are flying. There is a quiet excitement, a newness, a self-confidence. You are now ready to take the next step in life.
So, please pardon the appearance, I am trying to repave my road. I'll let you know how it goes.
Got this IChing reading a bit ago - found it relevant to my feelings above:
60: Limits and Connections
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
General Meaning: Limits are necessary to give purpose and direction to life. Swimming in a sea of boundless opportunity would soon lead to exhaustion. Winging it alone in a sky of boundless opportunity would lead to being lost. In human affairs, the making of choices, and alliances, implies limitation, for in choosing one path another must be abandoned.
One key to a successful life is to select your limits consciously and carefully - to be discriminating in the setting of personal boundaries and knowing when to join in formation. Thrift, for example, often precedes prosperity; just as the letting go of selfish interests often leads to greater personal reward. Only by consciously accepting useful limits can one's energy be channeled to good purpose, and lead to lasting accomplishment.
Point yourself toward a middle way, the mean between discipline and freedom of spirit. Limits will come of their own accord; but to be able to consciously select your own affiliations in life - that's knowing how to fly! At the same time, do not go overboard on discipline. Even limitation must be limited, so that in attempting to bring order and direction into your life you do not choke off vital sources of enthusiasm and spontaneity.
Similarly, in groups and organizations, the rules and regulations should strike a balance between being too strict and too soft. If too strict, they build frustration among people, and ultimately become destructive. If too lenient, sloppiness becomes acceptable, and energy is soon dissipated. The best path is one which allows for the fulfillment of individual potential, while encouraging self-discipline and focus.
That got me to thinking about life. And, how hard it is to start over. And looking at the path you are on. Trying to figure out if this is the right one or not. Or which one should I take? How should I narrow this down?
And, I realized, sometimes you don't have to completely take another road in life. It might be better to improve the road you are on first. Heck, you leave behind the road you were just on and, that road, well, could use some work.
I think re-paving a road is a lot harder than just abandoning the road and going off in another direction. It takes evaluation - how much damage needs to be repaired. It takes hard work - from the little patch up jobs to the complete destruction and re-building. It can be difficult - sweating it out, situations that are already very heated, pushing even further.
But, when you are done, when the road cools, you have something you can travel on again, smoothly. The small holes, the extra bits are gone. The road is lighter and you feel like you are flying. There is a quiet excitement, a newness, a self-confidence. You are now ready to take the next step in life.
So, please pardon the appearance, I am trying to repave my road. I'll let you know how it goes.
Got this IChing reading a bit ago - found it relevant to my feelings above:
60: Limits and Connections
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
General Meaning: Limits are necessary to give purpose and direction to life. Swimming in a sea of boundless opportunity would soon lead to exhaustion. Winging it alone in a sky of boundless opportunity would lead to being lost. In human affairs, the making of choices, and alliances, implies limitation, for in choosing one path another must be abandoned.
One key to a successful life is to select your limits consciously and carefully - to be discriminating in the setting of personal boundaries and knowing when to join in formation. Thrift, for example, often precedes prosperity; just as the letting go of selfish interests often leads to greater personal reward. Only by consciously accepting useful limits can one's energy be channeled to good purpose, and lead to lasting accomplishment.
Point yourself toward a middle way, the mean between discipline and freedom of spirit. Limits will come of their own accord; but to be able to consciously select your own affiliations in life - that's knowing how to fly! At the same time, do not go overboard on discipline. Even limitation must be limited, so that in attempting to bring order and direction into your life you do not choke off vital sources of enthusiasm and spontaneity.
Similarly, in groups and organizations, the rules and regulations should strike a balance between being too strict and too soft. If too strict, they build frustration among people, and ultimately become destructive. If too lenient, sloppiness becomes acceptable, and energy is soon dissipated. The best path is one which allows for the fulfillment of individual potential, while encouraging self-discipline and focus.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Improving Health Through Shakes and Other Sordid Tales
Shakes? What?
I have so much to write about, but am very excited that I have made a step to improve my health!
OK - let me back track.
From 2005 to the end of 2006 I was using shakes as supplemental meals from Medifast. They were great tasting and gave you everything you needed - nutrition wise. These, along with exercise, got me down past my goal weight and down 3 sizes. I was happier than a pig in fat-free, low cal slop.
Uh, OK.
I still had a pretty fun and groovy lifestyle during this time. I would drink my shakes during the day and have one real small meal at some point during the day. I would still go out and have fun with my various friends (and lo and behold, be the incredibly cheap drunk). Eventually, I learned how to eat small meals over the course of a day, instead of one, two or five big meals.
Then, the holidays came in 2007 and the shows and the craziness. I was sporadically eating, sporadically partying and sporadically exercising.
Now 2008 is almost 1/2 way through and I am up XXlbs over my goal weight (no one needs to know that number). After hitting that mark, I realized I needed to embark back on my shakes to re-train myself how to eat again. I have also been doing more yoga and going to the gym more consistently.
Now, some of you might said - hey, have you heard about the Lemon aid cleanse, diet, insert whatever name here. I have and I hope to do it at some point. (Believe it or not, it is more expensive than the shake thing I am doing.)
It is very similar to stuff I have done in the past. And I did like the taste quite a bit (I tried a few sips when friends of mine that had been on the program.) Now, I haven't read a lot on it. I have learned about it from what my friends have told me. What I have noticed is:
My shakes do the same thing in a way. I have found myself moody and craving weird things. But, I know that this will pass. It's like re-booting your system. And usually everything works a little better when you do re-boot.
A friend of mine said recently, that maybe America is ripe for a cut down on food intake. Not only have food prices risen, but with obesity related illnesses topping out health problems - almost over smoking related illnesses - it gives one thought for pause. Wait, I'm over weight and I am smoking. That made me say a yikes. And heck, maybe we do eat too much.
And, that brings me to another tale-the smoking. I have had people come up to me while I was smoking and say - I thought you were quitting, I read your blog. I am cutting down, not quitting, not yet. I'm not ready to quit yet. I really like having a cigarette and if I can keep the smoking down to a pack or 1/2 a pack a week, I don't see the total harm in it. 1/2 a pack a week is equal to breathing NYC air right?
With that said, I have changed my cutting down program a little. I am now concentrating on smoking only one pack a week. The once a week idea didn't really work. The last time I was doing that, I was at AMDA, much more broke than I am now (although, almost debt free) and between singing, dancing, acting classes, working 6 hours a day (after all the school), I didn't have a lot of time or money to enjoy the smokey treat.
And, smoking was a lot like enjoying a piece of candy back in those days. I don't run out and get a candy bar everyday, but ever so often. And, I hope I can find that enjoyment in the smoking again. Ever so often, wanting a nice puff off of a fine tobacco product. And, enjoying a chocolaty treat.
I have so much to write about, but am very excited that I have made a step to improve my health!
OK - let me back track.
From 2005 to the end of 2006 I was using shakes as supplemental meals from Medifast. They were great tasting and gave you everything you needed - nutrition wise. These, along with exercise, got me down past my goal weight and down 3 sizes. I was happier than a pig in fat-free, low cal slop.
Uh, OK.
I still had a pretty fun and groovy lifestyle during this time. I would drink my shakes during the day and have one real small meal at some point during the day. I would still go out and have fun with my various friends (and lo and behold, be the incredibly cheap drunk). Eventually, I learned how to eat small meals over the course of a day, instead of one, two or five big meals.
Then, the holidays came in 2007 and the shows and the craziness. I was sporadically eating, sporadically partying and sporadically exercising.
Now 2008 is almost 1/2 way through and I am up XXlbs over my goal weight (no one needs to know that number). After hitting that mark, I realized I needed to embark back on my shakes to re-train myself how to eat again. I have also been doing more yoga and going to the gym more consistently.
Now, some of you might said - hey, have you heard about the Lemon aid cleanse, diet, insert whatever name here. I have and I hope to do it at some point. (Believe it or not, it is more expensive than the shake thing I am doing.)
It is very similar to stuff I have done in the past. And I did like the taste quite a bit (I tried a few sips when friends of mine that had been on the program.) Now, I haven't read a lot on it. I have learned about it from what my friends have told me. What I have noticed is:
You have a few days of feeling accomplishment, followed by mood swings and cravings, then you move into fatigue, then back to accomplishment and your body feeling more healthy, then you repeat one or two of the other steps, but feel stronger this time about it.
My shakes do the same thing in a way. I have found myself moody and craving weird things. But, I know that this will pass. It's like re-booting your system. And usually everything works a little better when you do re-boot.
A friend of mine said recently, that maybe America is ripe for a cut down on food intake. Not only have food prices risen, but with obesity related illnesses topping out health problems - almost over smoking related illnesses - it gives one thought for pause. Wait, I'm over weight and I am smoking. That made me say a yikes. And heck, maybe we do eat too much.
And, that brings me to another tale-the smoking. I have had people come up to me while I was smoking and say - I thought you were quitting, I read your blog. I am cutting down, not quitting, not yet. I'm not ready to quit yet. I really like having a cigarette and if I can keep the smoking down to a pack or 1/2 a pack a week, I don't see the total harm in it. 1/2 a pack a week is equal to breathing NYC air right?
With that said, I have changed my cutting down program a little. I am now concentrating on smoking only one pack a week. The once a week idea didn't really work. The last time I was doing that, I was at AMDA, much more broke than I am now (although, almost debt free) and between singing, dancing, acting classes, working 6 hours a day (after all the school), I didn't have a lot of time or money to enjoy the smokey treat.
And, smoking was a lot like enjoying a piece of candy back in those days. I don't run out and get a candy bar everyday, but ever so often. And, I hope I can find that enjoyment in the smoking again. Ever so often, wanting a nice puff off of a fine tobacco product. And, enjoying a chocolaty treat.
Monday, July 21, 2008
We Interupt This Regular Scheduled Blog To Say....
Isabeau Cope McClain has arrived! She was born July 3rd, 2008 at 10:20pm. She weighed 6 lb 13 oz, & was 20 inches long.
This is my friend AJ and her husband's Bobby new little child.
And, why is this so important - cause about 2 months ago we weren't sure she was going to make it. She being mother and child. Little Isabeau and Ms. AJ are both doing well.
She wrote a lovely and slightly horrifying story about the birth - I am asking her permission to re-publish here.
YAY!
Sorry no pictures yet.
This is my friend AJ and her husband's Bobby new little child.
And, why is this so important - cause about 2 months ago we weren't sure she was going to make it. She being mother and child. Little Isabeau and Ms. AJ are both doing well.
She wrote a lovely and slightly horrifying story about the birth - I am asking her permission to re-publish here.
YAY!
Sorry no pictures yet.
Friday, July 11, 2008
My Quilt
My mom is making me a quilt.
I couldn't wait - I had to show it. It is the green and purple with masks on the brown bed spread.
My mom had been going to "quilters", what she calls the group, for about a year now or so. She never made anything. Just learned different stitches and how to make a quilt. But, didn't think she could afford to actually make one. Little known fact - quilting is a very expensive hobby.
Last year, my dad told her to just go out and buy the stuff and make a quilt. And, she did. She has been working on this one for almost a year. I think she was originally going to be making a baby quilt, but with no real prospect of grand children, she changed it to a quilt for me.
And, I am just tickled.
And proud.
Way to go mom! (I'll be getting it this Christmas. It is probably going into a quilting show first.)
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Helpful Hint From a DIY Mac Tech
OK, sort of.
First off, let me just say - I love my Mac. I really, really do. Most of the time it is the easiest thing in the world to work on and change things to work better and fix. And, almost always, I find the way to make it work. It's like owning a puzzle that you always figure out and this gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Or, I if all else failed, I would ask Scott.
Since Scott is no longer in the other room, I have to call and see if he can help. Or lean on someone else.
As most of you know, I don't like asking for favors. I really do try to do it myself. And, this one, folks, has taken me a year.
So, I had backed up my computer once I got my external hard drive by copying all the files from one location to my external hard drive. Once I did this, I noticed I had 2 copies of Windows Media Player on my computer, so I trashed one.
I went to empty my trash and darn it if the Windows Media Player was saying that it was locked. So, I went through all the folders and still, there were some hidden files that were locked.
Well, no worries, I'll just take it out of my trash and put it on my Desktop, empty my trash and put it back in.
Oh no.
It copied it to my Desktop and left a copy in the trash. Windows Media Player had become a bunny and started to reproduce as one would. By the end of my little experiment, I had 4 copies of WMP in my trash.
So, to empty my trash, I had to continually click the "OK" when prompted that I could not delete a file because it was locked. And, there were A LOT of these files - I found out later, about 80 per folder. I did however, end up practicing my drumming technique. On my interior mouse. On my laptop. This just simply would not do.
I went to a lot of reference sites and tried to figure this out. All of them said to do all this weird stuff, reboot in another mode, wipe the hard drive, chant the Dummy for Mac handbook over the computer. The responses were negative to people who had tried these suggestions. And some people found that they destroyed their lap top, lost all of their information and the damn thing still was in the trash.
I was not alone in my plight. It was not comforting however.
Eventually, I gave up and decided I would take it in to an Apple store or TechServ at some point.
Then, recently, I got fed up and decided to try again. The key was in unlocking all the files, which I thought I had done. So, I unlocked all the files again that were in the trash. Then, tried to unlock the program itself. It would not let me unlock it.
Light bulb.
My solution when the lockable is unlockable - rename the file and extension.
Which I did. I just put something like "asjidkfp" with no "." or extension after - the common pop up - are you sure - I clicked yes - and what it changed it into was beautiful. It changed the program into a folder. And, low and behold, in that folder was all the language files...that were...locked.
I began the task of plowing through all the folders then all the programs within those folders, unlocking everything. Click, Click, Apple A, Apple I, unlock, moving on. There were about 6 languages per program with 75 files that needed to be unlocked per. I worked for about 1/2 an hour and was finished. Was this actually going to work?
I slid my finger on the keypad to move my mouse up to empty the trash. Viola. The crinkle of paper after you have thrown out the trash on a MAC happened. I hadn't heard that sound in a year.
Ah. Success.
First off, let me just say - I love my Mac. I really, really do. Most of the time it is the easiest thing in the world to work on and change things to work better and fix. And, almost always, I find the way to make it work. It's like owning a puzzle that you always figure out and this gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Or, I if all else failed, I would ask Scott.
Since Scott is no longer in the other room, I have to call and see if he can help. Or lean on someone else.
As most of you know, I don't like asking for favors. I really do try to do it myself. And, this one, folks, has taken me a year.
So, I had backed up my computer once I got my external hard drive by copying all the files from one location to my external hard drive. Once I did this, I noticed I had 2 copies of Windows Media Player on my computer, so I trashed one.
I went to empty my trash and darn it if the Windows Media Player was saying that it was locked. So, I went through all the folders and still, there were some hidden files that were locked.
Well, no worries, I'll just take it out of my trash and put it on my Desktop, empty my trash and put it back in.
Oh no.
It copied it to my Desktop and left a copy in the trash. Windows Media Player had become a bunny and started to reproduce as one would. By the end of my little experiment, I had 4 copies of WMP in my trash.
So, to empty my trash, I had to continually click the "OK" when prompted that I could not delete a file because it was locked. And, there were A LOT of these files - I found out later, about 80 per folder. I did however, end up practicing my drumming technique. On my interior mouse. On my laptop. This just simply would not do.
I went to a lot of reference sites and tried to figure this out. All of them said to do all this weird stuff, reboot in another mode, wipe the hard drive, chant the Dummy for Mac handbook over the computer. The responses were negative to people who had tried these suggestions. And some people found that they destroyed their lap top, lost all of their information and the damn thing still was in the trash.
I was not alone in my plight. It was not comforting however.
Eventually, I gave up and decided I would take it in to an Apple store or TechServ at some point.
Then, recently, I got fed up and decided to try again. The key was in unlocking all the files, which I thought I had done. So, I unlocked all the files again that were in the trash. Then, tried to unlock the program itself. It would not let me unlock it.
Light bulb.
My solution when the lockable is unlockable - rename the file and extension.
Which I did. I just put something like "asjidkfp" with no "." or extension after - the common pop up - are you sure - I clicked yes - and what it changed it into was beautiful. It changed the program into a folder. And, low and behold, in that folder was all the language files...that were...locked.
I began the task of plowing through all the folders then all the programs within those folders, unlocking everything. Click, Click, Apple A, Apple I, unlock, moving on. There were about 6 languages per program with 75 files that needed to be unlocked per. I worked for about 1/2 an hour and was finished. Was this actually going to work?
I slid my finger on the keypad to move my mouse up to empty the trash. Viola. The crinkle of paper after you have thrown out the trash on a MAC happened. I hadn't heard that sound in a year.
Ah. Success.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
The Grass Is Also Greener Here
Continuation of last post.
Day Six: Sleeping and Scanning
Got up just a tad too late to go running and just went with my mom to the Blue House. The people there are great! Great stories, good food, good coffee. And, it is the hangout in the morning of Carlsbad. In other words, all the cool kids go there. I wish I could repeat some of the conversations, but I believe in what's said at the Blue House, stays at the Blue House. :)
Day 7: Scanning and Swimming
So, yes, there was a lot of pics to scan - and they are all on my Picasa page now. I got up, went to the natitorium at the High School. Olympic sized swimming pool. Not messing around. I did about 8 laps with a little rest in between each one. Olympic sized - a lot longer than you think. I use the one at my gym and I can do 4 laps before needing a rest. Of course, then the Blue House.
Then, we went to Brantley Lake a little while later. There were bunnies! Well, hares or jack rabbits to be exact. But, cute bunnies! And road runners! I stuck my toe in, but really didn't do any swimming. After seeing a sign that the fish weren't edible from the lake - I pondered what was in that water.
From there we went to the gem show at the Living Desert State Park. Then, home. Where I ate my last green chili cheese burger for awhile and packed to go home.
I got up the next day, enjoyed breakfast at the Blue House - said goodbye to all the regulars and went to Roswell to take off (again, in a plane, not a spaceship). I had a 6 hour layover in Dallas, TX that I spent with my friend's fiancee, drinking margaritas and discussing their upcoming nuptials.
Then, back to this side of the fence.
I miss that pace of life sometimes. Still getting everything done, but just a little bit slower. Enjoying time with family. Enjoying leisure time. I decided a couple of days ago, that I needed some time off from theatre projects. So, the one I am currently working on will be the last until Blood Brother's Present.... starts up in August. I want to try to re-create, at least a piece of that relaxed sigh that I found myself doing from time to time.
And, look at some more of these - clouds.
Day Six: Sleeping and Scanning
Got up just a tad too late to go running and just went with my mom to the Blue House. The people there are great! Great stories, good food, good coffee. And, it is the hangout in the morning of Carlsbad. In other words, all the cool kids go there. I wish I could repeat some of the conversations, but I believe in what's said at the Blue House, stays at the Blue House. :)
Day 7: Scanning and Swimming
So, yes, there was a lot of pics to scan - and they are all on my Picasa page now. I got up, went to the natitorium at the High School. Olympic sized swimming pool. Not messing around. I did about 8 laps with a little rest in between each one. Olympic sized - a lot longer than you think. I use the one at my gym and I can do 4 laps before needing a rest. Of course, then the Blue House.
Then, we went to Brantley Lake a little while later. There were bunnies! Well, hares or jack rabbits to be exact. But, cute bunnies! And road runners! I stuck my toe in, but really didn't do any swimming. After seeing a sign that the fish weren't edible from the lake - I pondered what was in that water.
From there we went to the gem show at the Living Desert State Park. Then, home. Where I ate my last green chili cheese burger for awhile and packed to go home.
I got up the next day, enjoyed breakfast at the Blue House - said goodbye to all the regulars and went to Roswell to take off (again, in a plane, not a spaceship). I had a 6 hour layover in Dallas, TX that I spent with my friend's fiancee, drinking margaritas and discussing their upcoming nuptials.
Then, back to this side of the fence.
I miss that pace of life sometimes. Still getting everything done, but just a little bit slower. Enjoying time with family. Enjoying leisure time. I decided a couple of days ago, that I needed some time off from theatre projects. So, the one I am currently working on will be the last until Blood Brother's Present.... starts up in August. I want to try to re-create, at least a piece of that relaxed sigh that I found myself doing from time to time.
And, look at some more of these - clouds.
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